Friday, September 21, 2012
::Here's the Story Of Us, How We Met & The Sparks Flew Instantly::
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
::10 ThInGs MoMs NeEd tO ReMeMbEr::
1. Expect that you will make mistakes. Like me when I tell everyone can't you just be quiet for one teeny second because otherwise I am going to go insane comment last night. Overboard? yes. Even though the noise was ridiculous and I really needed it quiet. We make mistakes. In that moment I didn't count to ten, didn't give the most calming and empowering parenting response - I just let my emotion and irritation with noise dictate my response. After a bit, and a little quiet, I came back and apologized for my crabbiness. That noise? Someday, truly, I will miss it.
2. Don't let the mistakes define you. So I made a mistake. Mistakes happen and they don't define motherhood success. In fact, if a mistake bothers you, then good -- it shows that you want to grow, you want to change, you want to be better. Learn from the mistake. For me? Often it is that counting for just a bit {that I forgot} before I respond or using a kinder tone when I do respond. I also try really hard to learn from the mistakes. Many times it is about me letting go of the things that I think are urgent {email, laundry, and more} and putting down my agenda so that it matches the family agenda.
3. Pick up. Try again. Encourage. Okay. Tough love here. I've been in groups where we talk about how hard it is to be a mom and all we have to do every single day. We laugh about the hard stuff and lament and complain and then we walk away. Enough. Let's laugh, lament, complain {it's okay to share about those hard days}, and then pull up our boot straps and encourage. If we leave a conversation with the thoughts of this is way too hard I can't do this then we're just reinforcing that we can't do it. Encourage each other. Talk about the hard day {that's okay}, but then instead of remaining in that work to encourage and move on. It's that grace element of motherhood. We all need it. We all need to extend it.
4. Bottom line motherhood is hard. I've written it over and over and over. And over. Being a mother is hard work. We've got to deal with labels and updates and posts and all of this talking about all we could be doing. But, seriously? Seriously most days are work. It's work without all of the honors - the awards, and accolades, and way-to go moments. Blessed work, but still work.
5. The day in and day out is just normal. Sigh. The everyday will not look like a pinterest pinboard {see the pinterest perfect real mom}. The real day will look rather boring. Get up, make breakfast, get kids dressed, clean up spills, switch laundry, etc. And that? That is okay. That is good. That, my friends, is the normal that we all crave when life goes a bit haywire.
6. Add an element of surprise to your day. Sit down on Sunday night and write down one thing that you are going to do each day to surprise your family. Maybe one day it will be breakfast for dinner. Another day will be sweet notes for your kids for lunch. Plan it. If it's not planned it simply will not happen. In fact, grab a piece of paper right now and write down one thing that will bless your family later today. Root beer floats for dessert? I think that will be mine.
7. Schedule time for you. I know. There are some that would argue, but honestly you must have quiet space within your week to recharge your batteries. Maybe there is some show you love {me? I'm an Amazing Race junkie -- secret dream -- me to be on there. Can't you see it? grin} and take time to watch it. There is NO guilt in taking time to recharge. Get up early and have quiet time and pray. Schedule a time every so often to get coffee with a friend so that you can laugh, lament, complain and encourage. Guard that time. And do NOT feel guilt when you need to step back and recharge.
8. Keep writing your gratitude list. Make it a habit to take two minutes writing everything that you are grateful for. I like to do this in the beginning of the day - it helps give good and healthy perspective for the day before the mass chaos begins. Make this a habit and put your list in a place where you can reference it throughout the day. In fact, post your grateful moments as a facebook status update - that's empowering.
9. Step back and appreciate. Every once in a while I simply step back and look at my day through fresh eyes. I've had those days when every single hair on the back of my neck stands up and I cannot figure out for the world of me why I am so frustrated. Step back. Break the pattern of the day. Pull out those gratitude lists that you've written. Remind yourself that this is a season, a short season, one that someday you will look back at with a bit of nostalgia.
10. Moms matter. Ending with that because, well, that's the truth. Remember that today as you go through your normal routine and pull up your bootstraps and keep going and writing your gratitude list. You're awesome. And amazing. And, as my almost seven year old tells me, you rule mom, you rule.
2. Don't let the mistakes define you. So I made a mistake. Mistakes happen and they don't define motherhood success. In fact, if a mistake bothers you, then good -- it shows that you want to grow, you want to change, you want to be better. Learn from the mistake. For me? Often it is that counting for just a bit {that I forgot} before I respond or using a kinder tone when I do respond. I also try really hard to learn from the mistakes. Many times it is about me letting go of the things that I think are urgent {email, laundry, and more} and putting down my agenda so that it matches the family agenda.
3. Pick up. Try again. Encourage. Okay. Tough love here. I've been in groups where we talk about how hard it is to be a mom and all we have to do every single day. We laugh about the hard stuff and lament and complain and then we walk away. Enough. Let's laugh, lament, complain {it's okay to share about those hard days}, and then pull up our boot straps and encourage. If we leave a conversation with the thoughts of this is way too hard I can't do this then we're just reinforcing that we can't do it. Encourage each other. Talk about the hard day {that's okay}, but then instead of remaining in that work to encourage and move on. It's that grace element of motherhood. We all need it. We all need to extend it.
4. Bottom line motherhood is hard. I've written it over and over and over. And over. Being a mother is hard work. We've got to deal with labels and updates and posts and all of this talking about all we could be doing. But, seriously? Seriously most days are work. It's work without all of the honors - the awards, and accolades, and way-to go moments. Blessed work, but still work.
5. The day in and day out is just normal. Sigh. The everyday will not look like a pinterest pinboard {see the pinterest perfect real mom}. The real day will look rather boring. Get up, make breakfast, get kids dressed, clean up spills, switch laundry, etc. And that? That is okay. That is good. That, my friends, is the normal that we all crave when life goes a bit haywire.
6. Add an element of surprise to your day. Sit down on Sunday night and write down one thing that you are going to do each day to surprise your family. Maybe one day it will be breakfast for dinner. Another day will be sweet notes for your kids for lunch. Plan it. If it's not planned it simply will not happen. In fact, grab a piece of paper right now and write down one thing that will bless your family later today. Root beer floats for dessert? I think that will be mine.
7. Schedule time for you. I know. There are some that would argue, but honestly you must have quiet space within your week to recharge your batteries. Maybe there is some show you love {me? I'm an Amazing Race junkie -- secret dream -- me to be on there. Can't you see it? grin} and take time to watch it. There is NO guilt in taking time to recharge. Get up early and have quiet time and pray. Schedule a time every so often to get coffee with a friend so that you can laugh, lament, complain and encourage. Guard that time. And do NOT feel guilt when you need to step back and recharge.
8. Keep writing your gratitude list. Make it a habit to take two minutes writing everything that you are grateful for. I like to do this in the beginning of the day - it helps give good and healthy perspective for the day before the mass chaos begins. Make this a habit and put your list in a place where you can reference it throughout the day. In fact, post your grateful moments as a facebook status update - that's empowering.
9. Step back and appreciate. Every once in a while I simply step back and look at my day through fresh eyes. I've had those days when every single hair on the back of my neck stands up and I cannot figure out for the world of me why I am so frustrated. Step back. Break the pattern of the day. Pull out those gratitude lists that you've written. Remind yourself that this is a season, a short season, one that someday you will look back at with a bit of nostalgia.
10. Moms matter. Ending with that because, well, that's the truth. Remember that today as you go through your normal routine and pull up your bootstraps and keep going and writing your gratitude list. You're awesome. And amazing. And, as my almost seven year old tells me, you rule mom, you rule.
♥ ky
::You're not failing::
You're not failing as a mom.
"You're not.
If you and I were sitting in Starbucks and you had your fave drink and I had my Caramel Macchiato I'd look at you, and I'd tell you the truth - you're not failing.
I know. I'm guessing, you'd wipe away the tears, and look up, and try to nod your head, but inside, inside well, you'd think that those are nice words but seriously she has no idea. You know why I know? Because I've sat in a coffee shop, across from a friend, a friend who looked me smack in the face and told me that I wasn't failing and that I was doing a great job.
I wanted to tell her about the dishes from yesterday sitting on my counter. And how the pile of storybooks wasn't read again. And that I'm a week behind in laundry. And that I got really really irritated at the mixture of 13 toys all dumped in a pile that two days ago was sorted into 13 labeled boxes. I wondered if she knew that some days, some days I get up and just go through the mom motions without even really finding much joy. It felt like drudgery.
How could she tell me I wasn't failing?
Yet, I wasn't.
Somehow in the mixed up media world we've got these thoughts of moms being perfect. Society doesn't give us a break. I mean read this article in the New York Times about the pressure on moms to look a certain way after they give birth. And then? Then we're to be ultra creative, crafty, humorous, happy, chipper, up before dawn, to sleep after dark, with our sinks shined, and the laundry folded, and tomorrow's breakfast in the crockpot, with tomorrow's dinner - pulled from our once-a-month cooking thawing in the fridge, while we work out for 20 minutes on odd days and 40 minutes on even days, and our hair is always done, we're makeup ready, our fridges are stocked, and the craft closet bursting with ideas for that quick perfect afternoon art project that we'll place on our recycled wood and mod podged adorned hand painted chalkboard.
And, in reality, it's 8am and we're just getting up. The baby was up all night, or the toddler sick, or honestly, we were just tired. We get our coffee and flip on facebook and our stream is flooded with stuff people have already done {I always tell myself -- different time zones} and we're racing to catch up with this never before except for the last hundred years perfect never feel like you're failing mom ideal that is exhausting.
You know what my friend told me? She told me to slow down. Slow down? How in the world when I felt like I was failing was I to slow down? I had way way way too much to do and I needed to read that parenting book to work on my attitude and and and...and. And she told me enough. And that I was a good mom.
You know, you're not failing.
You need to start to see all you do accomplish in a day. All the smiles of encouragement, meals made, clothes changed, books read, and more. Just like I wrote yesterday - we make mistakes {ten things moms need to remember} - we just need to learn from them. We're out of breath, racing, and exhausted, but truly not failing. Failing means stopping. Not getting up, not trying, not giving. That's not you.
I want you to stop telling yourself you're failing. Instead I want you to replace it with I can do this.
You can do this.
Those soundtrack words and feeling about failing are just feelings. Don't let them define you anymore. If you hear I'm failing replace it immediately with I can do this.
If you were across the table from me that is what I would tell you.
And, of course, I'd tell you do one thing. I'm going to write and say it again and again and again. Write your list of things you want to do, need to do, and would love to do today with your family. And then, do one thing from each list. If you stumble, brush yourself off, and start again. Don't worry that the neighbor across the street seems to be doing twenty or the pinterest pin tells you that the perfect home can be achieved in 6 Easy Steps. This is your life - and you -you are the perfect mother for those children. God knew when he blessed those kids to you.
Remember that.
You are a good mom. You matter. You are making a difference.
You can do this. One step, one day, at a time.
From me, one mom in the midst of motherhood, to you."
I found this from another blog. I love it! {i didn't write this!}
Original link: http://rachelmariemartin.blogspot.com/2012/08/dear-sweet-mom-who-feels-like-she-is.html?
"You're not.
If you and I were sitting in Starbucks and you had your fave drink and I had my Caramel Macchiato I'd look at you, and I'd tell you the truth - you're not failing.
I know. I'm guessing, you'd wipe away the tears, and look up, and try to nod your head, but inside, inside well, you'd think that those are nice words but seriously she has no idea. You know why I know? Because I've sat in a coffee shop, across from a friend, a friend who looked me smack in the face and told me that I wasn't failing and that I was doing a great job.
I wanted to tell her about the dishes from yesterday sitting on my counter. And how the pile of storybooks wasn't read again. And that I'm a week behind in laundry. And that I got really really irritated at the mixture of 13 toys all dumped in a pile that two days ago was sorted into 13 labeled boxes. I wondered if she knew that some days, some days I get up and just go through the mom motions without even really finding much joy. It felt like drudgery.
How could she tell me I wasn't failing?
Yet, I wasn't.
Somehow in the mixed up media world we've got these thoughts of moms being perfect. Society doesn't give us a break. I mean read this article in the New York Times about the pressure on moms to look a certain way after they give birth. And then? Then we're to be ultra creative, crafty, humorous, happy, chipper, up before dawn, to sleep after dark, with our sinks shined, and the laundry folded, and tomorrow's breakfast in the crockpot, with tomorrow's dinner - pulled from our once-a-month cooking thawing in the fridge, while we work out for 20 minutes on odd days and 40 minutes on even days, and our hair is always done, we're makeup ready, our fridges are stocked, and the craft closet bursting with ideas for that quick perfect afternoon art project that we'll place on our recycled wood and mod podged adorned hand painted chalkboard.
And, in reality, it's 8am and we're just getting up. The baby was up all night, or the toddler sick, or honestly, we were just tired. We get our coffee and flip on facebook and our stream is flooded with stuff people have already done {I always tell myself -- different time zones} and we're racing to catch up with this never before except for the last hundred years perfect never feel like you're failing mom ideal that is exhausting.
You know what my friend told me? She told me to slow down. Slow down? How in the world when I felt like I was failing was I to slow down? I had way way way too much to do and I needed to read that parenting book to work on my attitude and and and...and. And she told me enough. And that I was a good mom.
You know, you're not failing.
You need to start to see all you do accomplish in a day. All the smiles of encouragement, meals made, clothes changed, books read, and more. Just like I wrote yesterday - we make mistakes {ten things moms need to remember} - we just need to learn from them. We're out of breath, racing, and exhausted, but truly not failing. Failing means stopping. Not getting up, not trying, not giving. That's not you.
I want you to stop telling yourself you're failing. Instead I want you to replace it with I can do this.
You can do this.
Those soundtrack words and feeling about failing are just feelings. Don't let them define you anymore. If you hear I'm failing replace it immediately with I can do this.
If you were across the table from me that is what I would tell you.
And, of course, I'd tell you do one thing. I'm going to write and say it again and again and again. Write your list of things you want to do, need to do, and would love to do today with your family. And then, do one thing from each list. If you stumble, brush yourself off, and start again. Don't worry that the neighbor across the street seems to be doing twenty or the pinterest pin tells you that the perfect home can be achieved in 6 Easy Steps. This is your life - and you -you are the perfect mother for those children. God knew when he blessed those kids to you.
Remember that.
You are a good mom. You matter. You are making a difference.
You can do this. One step, one day, at a time.
From me, one mom in the midst of motherhood, to you."
I found this from another blog. I love it! {i didn't write this!}
Original link: http://rachelmariemartin.blogspot.com/2012/08/dear-sweet-mom-who-feels-like-she-is.html?
♥ ky
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