• Anaphylactic Shock & My Best Friend •

I take him for granted sometimes.

I fight with him & scream at him. 

But 110% of the time I love him so much & I am so glad I married him. 

You know how they always talk about those forks in your road, one bad, one good! Yeah I've experienced that major fork in the road. Marry someone who has a baby boy... Or leave him, someone who loves me unconditionally??

I chose that first one & I don't know what I ever could have done without him. He has done so much for me, for our boys, for everyone around him. He will be the first one to help in time of need! 

I needed him last night. I was 20 minutes into my workout & I started to experience what I now know is a severe allergic reaction. To what? I have no idea. I laid on my yoga mat, that I've been on a million times, & 10 minutes later, my hands itched, my feet itched, I was getting upset with my kids. I was turning into one crazy, scared, & panicked mama. I had no idea what was going on until I broke out & my sister talked me into going to the emergency room ( after Trev had tried so hard to get me to go. ) He of course sped, but got me to the hospital as quick & safe as he could. I was scared, serious panic attack mode. The nurse confirmed anaphylactic shock... It sounds so scary.

Bottom line: HE IS MY BEST FRIEND. HES AMAZING! HE LOVES ME UNCONDITIONALLY! 

•The Liebster Award Round 2•

Ahh!!! Another nomination for The Liebster Award, I am so beyond honored & excited that sweetheart Ali at Unrefined Sweet Life loved our blog enough to nominate us!! Thank you!!

I hope I gave different answers than my other post! :/ So enjoy... 

Questions From Ali

1.  Why did you start blogging?

I love to scrapbook but the journal can't always provide the whole story. When I started blogging it was only the big things that we did as a family. Now it's all about our every day lives!

2.  Since beginning your blog, what has been your biggest success?

My biggest succes has been the last month, I began to write from the heart with encouragement from 2 FB groups! They have showed me everyone goes through similar problems! 

3.  Congratulations! You’ve won $5,000 on a scratch off ticket. How will you spend your winnings?

Redo by bathroom or parts of my basement! 

4.  What is your favorite book? Safe Haven Why?

I love Nicholas Sparks! He writes with something I can imagine in my head & it lets me zone out of my crazy boy mama life. 

5.  Describe your style. What are 5 pieces that you think everyone should have in their closet? 

I'm definitely a jean & T-shirt kinda girl!! I think every girl should have a pair of comfy jeans that you can dress up to go out or dress down for a day at home, a pair of black leggings, a cute dolman top, flats to match, & flip flops!!

6. What is your guilty pleasure movie and snack?  

Definitely Burlesque, only because I secretly wish I could do that!! My snack would be Little Debbie Zebra Cakes & Mt. Dew!

7.  If you were making the perfect ice cream sundae, what would it consist of? 

Layered from bottom to top: Brownie, Sliced Bananas, caramel, cookies & cream ice cream, caramel & a maraschino cherry on top!

8.  In a box of 96 crayons, what color would you be? What is the name of the color? (i.e. Macaroni & Cheese Orange) 

Cerulean Blue

9.  Name three things that help get you through the day.

1. Mt. Dew

2. Instagram

3. My boys

10. What is your signature dish to bring to a get-together/party?

Acini De Pepi Salad! We know it as Frog Eye Salad!

11.  Name one milestone (goal) for your blog that you’d like to reach in 2015.

I am hoping to get a series called "Facing Life" started soon! Everyone knows that life is hard & there are lots of people that go through the same thing & my hope is that people can connect through the blog posts. 

Eleven Random Facts 

(1) When I'm stressed or upset to keep from crying I bite my bottom lip. Sometimes so much it bleeds. 

(2) I am the oldest of 3 kids. 1 brother 1 sister

(3) I met my husband on MySpace.

(4) I own a Dodge Grand Caravan! Yup I'm a minivan mom!

(5) When all of my kids are in school, I would like to start a daycare in town.... 5 years down the road!

(6) I've never received a speeding ticket.

(7) I have only dyed my hair once & it was horrid. I will never do it again. I will keep my dark brown! 

(8) Dance was my life in High School, I would love to get back into it. 

(9) We were married only 3 short months before I got pregnant & I'm kinda sad we didn't have longer! God does what needs to happen. 

(10) I started hunting when I was 12. I had to stop when I got pregnant because I was 8 months along when the season came around. My dad didn't want to deliver my baby on the mountain. My husband took over that job!!

(11) I have 1 husband, 3 sons & 1 step-son, 1 Daniff (Great Dane/Mastiff) & 1 Mini-Dachshund 

April at Our Little Loves

Jenn at Good Luck Jenn

Jennifer at A Glimpse Of Our Life

Elizabeth at Chasin' Mason

11 Questions For My Nominees! 

1. Are you a dog or a cat kinda person?

2. What are you most afraid of?

3. Favorite reality show?

4. Best childhood memory.

5. Go to drink or treat when your feeling down about your day? 

6. If your house caught on fire & you could grab 5 things what would they be? 

7. How did you meet your significant other? 

8. You win $500 million, if you would, your choice of donations would be where? 

9. Easiest thing about being a mom/wife? 

10. Hardest thing about being a mom/wife?

11. Who has influenced your life the most & why? 

Thank You again Ali! I'm so excited to have other people love our blog as much as we do!

• Friday Five •

1>> I recorded Footloose, the new one, it makes me miss dance so much. It makes me jealous of Julianne Hough & her skinny body!  I would love to be like her someday. 

2>> No matter how many times my boys see their grandma & grandpa Toomer on a daily basis, they still miss them when they go on a little vacation! FYI Carter gets a sleepover tomorrow when they get home from Utah! 

3>> I fought to not get a big dog... I fought to not let her be an inside dog. I lost. Now that Dali our Daniff is an inside dog, I can't leave her outside for more than 20 minutes. She makes me feel safe at night when Trev is at work! 

4>> We are done havin babies. 2015 will be my year to get my old personality back. No more sadness about things I CAN control. I will lose weight & feel better about myself!

5>> Trev & I have had a lot more date nights in the last month than ever. I feel like it's our first year of knowing each other & it's the best! After 8 years of knowing my love, I still get butterflies!! 

• Advocate or Hypocrite •

I feel like I don't express myself well. I am most of the time a blubbering idiot. I can't control myself when I'm trying to tell people how I feel.

Ever since I can remember I have been emotional. I get it from my momma! & ever since I can remember I have been hard headed, stubborn &.... a people pleaser. A little indifferent right!? Being as stubborn as I am, I should be fine to tell people how I do things & take nothing less! I am a big talker... It eats me ALIVE when I upset people or I don't do things the way someone thinks I should.

I can remember back to high school thinking life is going to be so easy. I am going to find someone to take care of me & our future family. I was happy & proud of everything in my life.

Well... Life truly starts after you become an 18 year old adult. I was faced with the reality of car payments, rent, a job,preparing my own meals ( cause heaven knows you can't eat out every meal, every day). I wasn't proud anymore. I was struggling.

I found the only person(outside my parents & siblings) I feel truly understands & loves every aspect of ME! Which is a miracle in its own. It's not easy living with me..

I always knew I was going to have babies. I grew up taking care of my baby sister & brother & babysitting. I went to college & found a job with kids... I love them! Other people's kids...


Now PLEASE don't take that outta context!

I love my kids & I will do ANYTHING in my power for them.
I just never knew the way my thinking & hormones would become so different after having them. I also never thought I would be the one to be on the "crazy pill". It just wasn't in my cards... Or so I thought.

So am I an advocate or a hypocrite?

I try to avoid the fact I'm on my meds. I don't talk about it. Or I laugh it off & make it seem like it's joke.

The sad truth is it's not a joke. I have had a problem coming to terms with it since Carter. Some of it comes from moving away from my mom shortly after having him, but to look on the bright side I moved within 20 minutes of my sweet angel Grandma! My papa, aunts & uncle were right there to help at a whim! It's not like I moved three states away with no help. Nonetheless it must had hit me hard, or now that I think about it that was a HARD, TOUGH, HEARTBREAKING reality check when I realized my grandma was in serious pain. She was dying & there was nothing anyone could do. I spent one year with her, Going every day that she felt ok for company. I miss her. She was one of my best friends & biggest supporters.

Is that why I started to feel so down about things? I know one thing is that is WHEN it started. & it has gotten worse since having a baby become a NICU graduate. I know there could be worse & that little teething, screaming, drool monster could have had a total different outcome with his life. But to say it has been easy for us since his diabetes went away would be a complete lie. I haven't experienced a colicky & demanding child until Peyt. & I feel like a brand new mom when I do most things with him. Life is & always will be a harsh reality.

I wake up, get outta bed & live because of those 3 cute little faces I wake up to everyday. I do the things a regular stay at home mom does.

But it's not who I am. I have post partum depression that I feel has turned into post traumatic stress. I experience anxiety. I experience bouts of tears, bouts of anger, & as much as people don't think I do.. bouts of laughter. I do enjoy life.

It's just sometimes that depression sneaks up on me & pulls me back in. Slowly but surely. & when it pulls it doesn't let up.

So the answer to the question... advocate or hypocrite?

Hypocrite...
I choose to avoid it. I choose to ignore it. & I choose to receive the consequences for it.

What do I want to be?

Advocate...
I want to help others. I want to live knowing others like me. I want people to know they don't have to be alone. & I want to lean on others who KNOW what I'm feeling. I know it's the right thing to do. Seek help & let others help me sort this out.

That does not always mean it's easy.

• I'm Just Like My Husband •

I'm not joking... It's serious. I always figured I was kind of a girly girl. I loved to dance, I never went anywhere without my make up & hair done & I showered every day just to shave my legs. I understand 10% of how they think & act now!!

I will do gross things!
Before the boys could lay on the floor or sit in the jumper, I made sure I had the floor vacuumed & the jumper wiped down. If they barely spit up on anything, it was taken off & washed immediately. Seriously, you try having 4 boys & keeping everything spic & span. It doesn't work. I have caught puke in my hands only to have it end up in my hair. I have cloroxed the bathtub after my 2 year old makes himself good & comfy to poop. I touch wet sheets after they've been peed on. & I just throw the blanket, with who knows what on it, in the washer & don't think twice. The boys can seriously come in with the dirtiest faces & hands & I just put them in the tub.

I can get ready in 15 minutes!
High School was a time when I felt like I needed to have my hair done & make up on no matter what. When I had Carter I was still working for the first 5 months. I was still in the makeup & hair routine. Once we moved to Utah & my husband started night shifts I learned how to get ready in 15 minutes before the baby cried. My hair became straight & flat to my head...no more poofs... & my makeup consisted of pretty close to nothing. Thank goodness I was blessed with decent skin. Now life consists of me getting myself & all 4 kids ready in 30 minutes & waitin on dad in the car!

I now suck at listening!
When one of my friends needed to talk pre-family life, I was right there with listening ears. I can NOT talk on the phone to ANYONE without kids interrupting, the baby screaming, or the dogs barking at someone driving by. It's ridiculous. The kids ask me for something & they have to repeat themselves 2 or 3 times before one of the other kids will be quiet enough for me to hear.

I replaced foreplay with “After Sleep"!
Seriously I'm sure it's a TMI. So sorry... But our 4 year old hasn't slept good since we moved to Utah. He was up with night terrors constantly. & now our 2 year old is having them. Peyton is a very alert sleeper. A creek in the floor will wake him up easily. We have a time window that has to be met fast! I would rather get to it & have some good ol after sleep. Preferably on my belly & no snuggles. I get to hot & my husband snores!

• Family Night •

We decided to start doing a family night once a week. Not necessarily on Monday, just once a week. We chose to go fishing tonight!! It started out fun....













Wyatt was the only one who caught anything! A small bass! He was totally thrilled with himself!!
















We packed a picnic dinner & fished for about an hour & a half. It ended with a sad 4 yr old who caught no fish & a sad baby P who was hungry.