• A Mothers Love •

My husband showed me this video of Marc Mero & his mothers love! I cried my eyes out! It was absolutely heartbreaking to hear how much he had put his mom through & yet amazing because of the love she had for him, she never gave up on him! Do you have anyone like that in your life, even though you have messed up multiple times? 

I remember bits and pieces of high school really well. There are lots of memories with my dance team & then there is one distinct memory with my mom. I battled an undiagnosed eating disorder for most of JH/HS. My mom & dad found out because of a girl at school snitching on me, while I was puking after lunch. I wasn't very sneaky in JH!  I learned a little better (or so I thought) & gave up the bulimia & took on anorexia. It was much quieter & a lot more easy to hide. My mom soon found out, but by that point I was deep in it & around 100 lbs. I felt good. I was still dancing at my top potential & excelling in school! I wasn't hurting anyone, according to my me. My mom knew I was dying inside. She never once "punished" me because of it. She knew that wasn't going to do any good. She was my biggest supporter. I was confident in telling her how I felt. She did lots of research where to send me for therapy. Living in a small town & a dad who was a farmer, we didn't have the money to go somewhere like that. I felt like I wasn't that severe of a case to go to rehab. So I sought out my school counselor & she definitely helped me get through high school! My mom never gave up on me. She has helped through some of my toughest moments as a wife & as a mom. She will always be there for me & never look down on me. I love her so much! 

• Everything Happens For A Reason •

Welcome to the first of my 30 posts of July! I had the opportunity to connect with lots of other bloggers, one specific who set the group up, and I'm so excited to get back on the blog train! I've missed it. 

So I'd like to give an introduction first, I've had a lot of new followers on my Facebook page! My name is Kylie Mecham. I'm married to the love of my life, he gives me so much love! I also am a mama & step mama to 4 little boys! My youngest was born with a rare genetic disorder that caused him to be born with diabetes, it's now gone but will be back later in life. He spent 73 days in SLC, UT at Primary Children's Hospital. It was the hardest trial I've been through as a mom since becoming one 5.5 years ago. I love blogging. I love fitness. I have found it makes me focus on my life a little better. I can take out my stress on fitness & I love writing about real & raw things. It makes me feel like I'm connecting with people! 

It's funny how your life changes once you become a mom. In high school I thought life was hard, it was the easiest 4 years of my life. I thought I would never become the crazy girl, or the one who couldn't lose the baby weight. I became both. I started out with just a small bout of PPD after having my first baby, but with each one it got worse. I didn't realize, and neither did anyone else, that I was having problems until a couple months after my second baby. My mood swings were uncontrollable, my relationships with my husband, kids, & others was deteriorating & I was heartbroken. I didn't know what to do or how to fix it. I finally went to the doctor & the medicine really helped. And then Peyt came along, long story short, easy pregnancy, no problems & then my repeat c-section brought a tiny 3 lb 15 oz baby boy in my life. & he was sick. Very sick. & I was right back into that PPD except this time being in a major hospital & having the monitors constantly going off I developed some PTSD to go along with it. I was a mess. We brought him home like I said after 73 days & at times I had no idea what I was doing. I just continued to spiral downhill & it was awful. I started working out after Peyt turned one & it's been my saving grace since. I have such better days when I get that fast 30 minute workout in! It's true when they say you get much happier from exercising. 

I can't help wonder what my life would have been like had I not been a hormonal wife or mom. Would my boys have a normal, happy childhood? When they get older, will they remember that year they're mom went bat shit crazy? It's a huge blessing that had family & a husband who believed & loved me enough to stick with me. Everything happens for a reason. I firmly believe you are given trials to lead you to your next road in life, good or bad. You just need to live your life according to YOU! No worrying about what everyone else thinks. 

I hope to really get this blog going with this fun challenge! I have so many ideas & so much to say... 

STAY TUNED!

• Tuesday Talk •

I am doing Tuesday Talk a little late tonight. It's been a rough day with my wilds! I seen this story about a mom who wrote about that one question everyone asks when you tell them it's a boy for the third time, you'll have try for a girl for your fourth right!? 

I joke about it all the time. Someone says to me "you gotta try for a girl right!?" I usually say something like, not if my dr did his job! Because with my last babe I had a repeat C-section & got a tubal as well. It's fine to fake it while your standing face to face with someone, but deep down it always gets to me for a minute. 

Are my cute boys not enough for you?

Am I not good enough to be a boy mama?

Are you going to make me re-think about the fact that I won't ever have cute bows & dance outfits on my little girl?

I have already thought about those things! 1) my boys are adorable 2) I'm an amazing sidekick to those ninja's & superheroes & 3) I do NOT have the patience for a little girl! I would love to have a tiny dancer but it's not for me! 

It makes me sad to think that having all boys is something to dread. Yes, my boys have the nickname "The Wilds" & they live up to it every single day. Not a day goes by that I don't thank God for my boys. I thank Him for giving me boys that have good manners (on most days). I thank Him for little boys who tell me on some my very worst days that I'm the most beautiful mommy in the whole big world! 

I would NEVER trade my blues for pink any day. 

I look forward to watching my boys play sports with their dad & to see that twinkle in Trevs eye when he's proud of the way they're learning or succeeding in life. 

I look forward to watching my boys pick the person they will fall in love with & be the best husband & dad because they learned from some of the best men I know! & then I will get the best daughters I could ask for because my boys chose them! 

I will always be a boy mom & I will never have any fear of that! I am so thankful that these boys give me hope & an amazing reason to live this life & have fun. They have taught me fun! They have taught me to live in the moment no matter where or what. They have taught me unconditional love. I am a proud Stay At Home Boy Mom! 

• Facing Life: Meeting My Diabetic Baby •

When I was pregnant with Peyton, I had that feeling that he was my last. I tried to enjoy every single part of it, but for the first 3.5 months I was sick. It got better & my the end I had gained a good 45 lbs! Little did I know that 45 lbs was just going to be on me. Peyton was delivered at 38 weeks. He came tiny, but fighting! You can read about his birth here. 

From day one I wondered what I could have done different. There were so many moments sitting in the NICU thinking about the things that could go wrong. 6q24 Transient Neinatal Diabetes Mellitus is one of the scariest phrases I've ever heard to describe my baby. Here is some information about it. My grandpa has Type 2 Diabetes. All I knew before Peyt was that my grandpa couldn't have to many candy bars or he would be sick. I compared Peyton to a roller coaster a lot in the NICU. His glucose levels were out of control. Low one minute, high the next, leveled out to normal & then he'd spike or drop again. It was always a small victory if we could stay within his range two or three times in a row. If babies could talk, I tried to imagine what Peyton would say. Would he cry "ow" every time they pricked his little heel? Would he scream " mommy,daddy don't leave me" every time we walked out that door to our 2.5 hour drive home? Would he be able to know the difference in a high & a low to tell the nurses how he was feeling? 

I had a lot of time to think sitting & rocking my baby or coming home without a newborn. I had a hard time getting to sleep every night without him. I would call to check on him every single night & tell the nurse to give him an extra squeeze for me through a couple tears. That never faded away. Even when I brought him home I would kiss him before I laid him down & got teary eyed sometimes.

When I would walk into his NICU room, it was like a piece of my heart was returned. I never felt whole because my other boys weren't with me. The day I felt whole again was April 22, 2014. We brought Peyton home & I was extremely nervous. I was so excited to know he was healthy enough to come home, but hopeful & praying that we would have no emergencies. 

We made it 3.5 months with monogenic diabetes & survived! Luckily for me Peyton was on specific amounts of formula so I never needed to count grams of sugar & all that. The poking, the final 3 heartbeats in the 3 seconds waiting for his meter to read, was worth it. He is a healthy & striving baby boy! 

I have learned so much from this boy, patience mainly! I had no idea what stress was until this boy came along. He is demanding & usually gets what he wants. Which means mama holds him a lot. I have learned time management, anytime he lets me put him down to play I hurry & get a room cleaned. I have to or my house would be a wreck! 

He turned 1 year old today & is my hero! He is 1 of 24 in the world with his condition. He's pure heaven! 

Happy

Birthday

Peyton

Your mommy and daddy love you forever! We hope you continue to fight in life & be the tough & strong person we know you are capable of being! 

• I BELIEVE... •

{ I BELIEVE } your family near and far, will be the ones you will fall back on for comfort. The quote that always hits home

This last year has been one of my toughest. I have been tested in every single one of my roles... As a mom, as a wife, & mostly as the person I always thought I'd be. My family has & always will continue to be there! 

{ I BELIEVE } that if you don't work for what you want, it won't fully be yours. Things are handed out to people so easily now. 12 year olds are getting cell phones... 15 year olds getting new trucks before their license. I love to hear stories from grandparents from their childhood about how hard they worked just to earn $1.00. I look up to the people who have earned everything they own. I grew up doing chores as a child & as soon as I could I got a job. I raised 3 steers & paid for my drill team in high school. I am so very thankful to my parents for installing in my head that working hard will get you what you want. I admire and look up to my dad more than he will ever realize. He is the true definition of a hard worker. He never stops, no matter what. We are raising the boys just the same. They have chores & if they listen the first time, they get what they want. 

{ I BELIEVE } there is a lesson to be learned in every trial we go through. I thought life was falling apart when Peyton was in that ambulance going to Primary Childrens. I honestly felt there was a chance I could lose my baby. Diabetes is not something to be messed with, it has a mind of its own. And every single second I spend with these boys of mine is priceless & should be cherished. I learned that this life with my family needs to be done with love and focus on them. Those messes I want to clean up every 5 minutes show that my boys are enjoying their childhood. They are little boys and they need to have fun. 

{ I BELIEVE } your spouse should always be your best friend. I don't remember this often enough right now. It's true when they say your spouse gets pushed away when kids come into the picture, and it's usually the husband. I'm guilty way to often of this. I'm tired, I need to sleep when they do, you would never survive 2 hours of sleep or the constant crying like I do. My attitude sometime is horrible towards him when he gets home. It's not fair, it's not his fault. We recently went to his work Christmas party. It was so much fun. We rented a room & went out with friends afterwards. It needs to be like that way more often. He knows me inside & out. He is my best friend. I trust him with everything I know & love. He deserves the best. 

{ I BELIEVE } that God does not give us more than we can handle. He has perfect timing & I know this because we were able to stay with Peyton so much. The reasoning. My mom & dad were well on their way to moving to Southern Utah & starting a business and about a month or two before Peyton was born they were told they couldn't get the loan. At the time we as a family were so bummed. When Peyton was born I realized they were needed to stay with my kids & let me lean on them for 2.5 months. He knows what He's doing all the time!