• Mothers Day 2015 •

So of course here I am at 11:30 finally sitting down to write a post on some of the most influential woman of my life! I never realized how hard it is to be a mom until I became one 5 years ago! It's amazing to me that life flies right by & you never truly know what's coming next! 

• My # 1 •

My mom has taught me everything I know! I am amazed at what she went through as a young mom & made it out alive with us all well brought up! She sacrificed a lot to stay home with us as kids! I'm so glad she taught me how to be a mom! She taught me to be strong, compassionate & loving! She taught me patience, heaven knows I need all the help I can get! She has been here for my family no matter what! She took care of my older boys when Peyt was in SLC & I never had any fear that my boys weren't ok! They love their Grandma Kellee! Carter would live there if I'd let him! 

• Trevs # 1 •

Grandma Nancy is always so fun with the kids! She loves to be around her family! She raised the man I love so very much! She taught him how to be a gentlemen & an amazing dad! She taught him to always take care of his family first & he is so amazing at that! I am so glad they are always willing to step in to help us kids when we need it! My boys love their Grandma Nancy! I'm so glad my boys will always have an amazing relationship with her! She is so thoughtful & loving! She is always putting us before her needs! 

• My Angel •

I honestly can't believe we have survived this long without her. Grandma Vicki was one of the most amazing, selfless, loving, kind, big hearted woman I have ever known. She taught my mom how to be an amazing mom & she taught me how to love unconditionally. My grandma never EVER complained about her life. She was dealt such a hard one the last few years of her life. She was so amazingly strong! She fought hard to stay as long as she did. I always know if there is something I need help with I can turn to her! She visits in dreams often. Random memories will pop into my head when I need them the most! I know she had a part in helping Peyt pick us as his parents, she knew I needed him just as much as he would need me! I love & miss her so very much! 

• My # 1 Sister •

I'm so proud to say she is my sister! She is an amazing mom to Kasleigh & I can't wait for her to bring Harleigh into this world tomorrow! She is so sweet & loving to my boys! There is no way we could have survived our SLC stay without her. She got Carter to school & made sure that Wyatt was taken care of until Grandma took over! She is a lifesaver!

• The Boys That Made Me A Mom & Step-Mom•

These 4 give me so much joy! I never knew I could love someone as much as I do those boys! They are the reason I get up every morning & drive myself to be better each day! They are the most hilarious & entertaining wilds I've ever met! They give me so much hope for our future life. I know they will be some of the best behaved boys because they are part of the best line of women I've met! They are so amazing & sometimes it's hard to let go of them! 

Happy Mothers Day to all the sweet moms in my life! I love you all!! 

• Tuesday Talk •

I am doing Tuesday Talk a little late tonight. It's been a rough day with my wilds! I seen this story about a mom who wrote about that one question everyone asks when you tell them it's a boy for the third time, you'll have try for a girl for your fourth right!? 

I joke about it all the time. Someone says to me "you gotta try for a girl right!?" I usually say something like, not if my dr did his job! Because with my last babe I had a repeat C-section & got a tubal as well. It's fine to fake it while your standing face to face with someone, but deep down it always gets to me for a minute. 

Are my cute boys not enough for you?

Am I not good enough to be a boy mama?

Are you going to make me re-think about the fact that I won't ever have cute bows & dance outfits on my little girl?

I have already thought about those things! 1) my boys are adorable 2) I'm an amazing sidekick to those ninja's & superheroes & 3) I do NOT have the patience for a little girl! I would love to have a tiny dancer but it's not for me! 

It makes me sad to think that having all boys is something to dread. Yes, my boys have the nickname "The Wilds" & they live up to it every single day. Not a day goes by that I don't thank God for my boys. I thank Him for giving me boys that have good manners (on most days). I thank Him for little boys who tell me on some my very worst days that I'm the most beautiful mommy in the whole big world! 

I would NEVER trade my blues for pink any day. 

I look forward to watching my boys play sports with their dad & to see that twinkle in Trevs eye when he's proud of the way they're learning or succeeding in life. 

I look forward to watching my boys pick the person they will fall in love with & be the best husband & dad because they learned from some of the best men I know! & then I will get the best daughters I could ask for because my boys chose them! 

I will always be a boy mom & I will never have any fear of that! I am so thankful that these boys give me hope & an amazing reason to live this life & have fun. They have taught me fun! They have taught me to live in the moment no matter where or what. They have taught me unconditional love. I am a proud Stay At Home Boy Mom! 

• What If I Can't Enjoy Every Moment •

It's that look I get from complete strangers when they see us with four boys. That, "oh wow you have four boys, enjoy every moment it goes so quickly," comes up & I just nod my head & smile. 

Here’s the thing: I do enjoy this. I do look forward to those snuggling moments. I was the mama rocking her newborn at 3:00am reminding myself to do that very thing: to memorize the ten tiny pounds on my chest, the entire hand that wrapped around my one finger. 

I pay attention to every single moment.  I am aware of the minutes that somehow turn into days, weeks & years, and I love those moments because they define our family.

What about those moments that are hard? What about those minutes you do not cherish and the days that are not precious? What do those criticizing strangers say about those?

Like this weekend when my 7, 5, & 3 year olds would not listen, would not stop tattletaling & would not stop fighting. To top it off I was also dealing with my 1 year old, who has had double ear infections for what I can only bet is 2 months, screaming & clinging to my leg every time I stopped for two seconds. I had finally had enough when two of the three fought & pushed one into the innocent third one knocking him into the bed only to his head. I shut their doors, went into my room & I screamed ," I'm done with you, and promptly shut myself in our bedroom drinking Mt. Dew until I regained my sanity.

Or when we were at Winco & they were fighting over who had to get in & who was holding the sides of the grocery cart, that they ran into the people in front of them, while I was getting something off a shelf, & we got that "take care of your out of control kids" look.

Or during a day that I had gotten 1 hour of sleep the night before & my nerves & anxiety had reach its capacity and I was confronted with two completely demanding toddlers and I screamed Can’t you just go take care of yourself for awhile?!

Or the time that my 5 year old put a hot wheels car in the microwave and pushed start. It started on the microwave on fire & he blamed it on his 3 year old brother. 15 minutes later he copped up to it & you wonder if all that talking about lying & truth telling even made a difference with him. 

What about those moments that are just hard? What do we do then? Is it really even feasible to enjoy those?

Those moments when you feel like a failure of a mother. When you feel like you did not love them nearly as much or you ignored their needs far to much. When your patience slipped, when your words made them tear up & run away. 

But here’s the thing about moments: they have this way of moving. They tick and they flash and they creep by. Every single one of them. These moments are going to happen whether we want them to or not, whether we are ready for them or not. Some are going to be easier to enjoy than others, some are going to sting more than others, some will be more precious than others.

We are trying so very hard to not miss these moments because in our heart of hearts we know that the advice is true: time does fly, moments do pass, we should enjoy these moments. We know that time works on its own schedule, speeding up when we want it to slow down and crawling by when we need it to fly.

But here’s the thing: we’re not going to enjoy every moment. We’re just not. Because being a mama is hard. It just is.

So to the exhausted mamas and the new ones and the barely surviving ones and the sick ones and the obsessive ones and the ones at the end of her rope and the ones surviving on caffeine, forget about trying to enjoy every moment. It will be one more thing you feel like is one of those building blocks of mothrhood. 

Here’s what you need to know instead: you already are a good mother. You love your kids fiercely, and that is what counts.

So what if we reframe the word enjoy? What if instead of trying to enjoy every single moment, we lean into them instead?  What if we learn from those rough patches & be strong. It is an act of bravery in affirming that you are more than the sum of your terrible minutes. It is an act of courage to dig deep into each and every moment even if there are a few thorns.

And so now, when I am confronted with the whining and the bickering and the exhaustion and the worry and the fears threatening to take over, I will look for something new. I will look for what I can embrace within the moment: the chocolate staining her cheek from when she snuck a bite of cookie, new words like appetizer and ridiculous that she tries on for size even though they completely don’t fit, the other one’s new favorite skill of climbing up the frame of the door frames or even just maybe try to laugh instead of cry at how terribly out of control the day has gone.

Because I want to know that I lived completely whole. I want to know that my boys are offered everything, whether it makes a mess or not. Even through these little years that can be so very exhausting. Even through moments that threaten my very sanity. Even then.

And so the next time someone tells you to enjoy this just as you are about ready to scream at somebody, simply smile and say “I will.” And then with every ounce of courage within you: don’t let the hard day win, look for one teeny tiny moment you can grasp within all the crying and screaming & just embrace motherhood and all it entails. 

•The Liebster Award Round 2•

Ahh!!! Another nomination for The Liebster Award, I am so beyond honored & excited that sweetheart Ali at Unrefined Sweet Life loved our blog enough to nominate us!! Thank you!!

I hope I gave different answers than my other post! :/ So enjoy... 

Questions From Ali

1.  Why did you start blogging?

I love to scrapbook but the journal can't always provide the whole story. When I started blogging it was only the big things that we did as a family. Now it's all about our every day lives!

2.  Since beginning your blog, what has been your biggest success?

My biggest succes has been the last month, I began to write from the heart with encouragement from 2 FB groups! They have showed me everyone goes through similar problems! 

3.  Congratulations! You’ve won $5,000 on a scratch off ticket. How will you spend your winnings?

Redo by bathroom or parts of my basement! 

4.  What is your favorite book? Safe Haven Why?

I love Nicholas Sparks! He writes with something I can imagine in my head & it lets me zone out of my crazy boy mama life. 

5.  Describe your style. What are 5 pieces that you think everyone should have in their closet? 

I'm definitely a jean & T-shirt kinda girl!! I think every girl should have a pair of comfy jeans that you can dress up to go out or dress down for a day at home, a pair of black leggings, a cute dolman top, flats to match, & flip flops!!

6. What is your guilty pleasure movie and snack?  

Definitely Burlesque, only because I secretly wish I could do that!! My snack would be Little Debbie Zebra Cakes & Mt. Dew!

7.  If you were making the perfect ice cream sundae, what would it consist of? 

Layered from bottom to top: Brownie, Sliced Bananas, caramel, cookies & cream ice cream, caramel & a maraschino cherry on top!

8.  In a box of 96 crayons, what color would you be? What is the name of the color? (i.e. Macaroni & Cheese Orange) 

Cerulean Blue

9.  Name three things that help get you through the day.

1. Mt. Dew

2. Instagram

3. My boys

10. What is your signature dish to bring to a get-together/party?

Acini De Pepi Salad! We know it as Frog Eye Salad!

11.  Name one milestone (goal) for your blog that you’d like to reach in 2015.

I am hoping to get a series called "Facing Life" started soon! Everyone knows that life is hard & there are lots of people that go through the same thing & my hope is that people can connect through the blog posts. 

Eleven Random Facts 

(1) When I'm stressed or upset to keep from crying I bite my bottom lip. Sometimes so much it bleeds. 

(2) I am the oldest of 3 kids. 1 brother 1 sister

(3) I met my husband on MySpace.

(4) I own a Dodge Grand Caravan! Yup I'm a minivan mom!

(5) When all of my kids are in school, I would like to start a daycare in town.... 5 years down the road!

(6) I've never received a speeding ticket.

(7) I have only dyed my hair once & it was horrid. I will never do it again. I will keep my dark brown! 

(8) Dance was my life in High School, I would love to get back into it. 

(9) We were married only 3 short months before I got pregnant & I'm kinda sad we didn't have longer! God does what needs to happen. 

(10) I started hunting when I was 12. I had to stop when I got pregnant because I was 8 months along when the season came around. My dad didn't want to deliver my baby on the mountain. My husband took over that job!!

(11) I have 1 husband, 3 sons & 1 step-son, 1 Daniff (Great Dane/Mastiff) & 1 Mini-Dachshund 

April at Our Little Loves

Jenn at Good Luck Jenn

Jennifer at A Glimpse Of Our Life

Elizabeth at Chasin' Mason

11 Questions For My Nominees! 

1. Are you a dog or a cat kinda person?

2. What are you most afraid of?

3. Favorite reality show?

4. Best childhood memory.

5. Go to drink or treat when your feeling down about your day? 

6. If your house caught on fire & you could grab 5 things what would they be? 

7. How did you meet your significant other? 

8. You win $500 million, if you would, your choice of donations would be where? 

9. Easiest thing about being a mom/wife? 

10. Hardest thing about being a mom/wife?

11. Who has influenced your life the most & why? 

Thank You again Ali! I'm so excited to have other people love our blog as much as we do!

• What It's Like To Be A Mommy •

 When I was old enough to start babysitting kids, outside of my little brother & sister, I couldn't help but wonder what life would be like when I became a mommy.

I wondered how many I would have. I wondered if I would have a little dancer like her momma or a little boy who every time he came to me with owies to kiss I would be wrapped one more time around his pinky finger! 

My dreams of becoming a mommy weighed heavily after I met the man I knew I was destined to marry. Never did I picture being a step-mom. There is not a day that goes by, I regret that. I love him & can't picture our lives without him. 

The day I gave birth to Carter was the day my life truly started. I had never loved someone so much. He instantly made my heart melt, again & again with every new milestone. That first smile, the first coo & then it's that first time you hear the word mama. Nothing will top that. 

We continued to have babies...Wyatt... Peyton & life became wild & chaotic. It's hard to focus on just one little one when we have four.  You don't picture what life will really be like. You dream of motherhood, not being a mommy. Those are two different aspects of a mom. 

Motherhood is pictured as 8 hours of sleep, because your babies are perfect enough to sleep through the night first week home. A simple daily schedule of owning a clean & organized house all time. You must dress your littles in expensive clothes to keep up with fashion. Clean faces who behave at all times in all the places you go. Motherhood could quite possibly be the easiest job ever...

If it were ANYTHING like that. It's not!

Being a mommy, is wondering when the last time your greasy hair was washed? If that spot on your shirt or pants is adult food, baby food, dog snot or poop. I am lucky if I get 6 hours of sleep on a regular basis, because of a colicky baby & a 5 year old who has nightmares. I don't get to work out daily because my wilds climb on me while I'm planking & think it's I'm a buckin bull. I am still carrying unecessary weight on my scarred stomach with which I gave birth by C-Section to those two littles. I am constantly hearing tattle tale rants & deciding on who farted or burped. 

These boys have completely run over me on days where I feel like I could give up at any moment. Those faces I kiss & hug every night with & a goodnight have me at their every beckon call. I would do anything to make sure they feel loved & safe. On days when I, as a person, feel at my lowest Carter whispers in Wyatts ear " Tell Mommy She's Beautiful." They are my rocks. 

I will enjoy them as littles & treasure every moment I have with these little stinkers! 

• Happy 7th Birthday Kam •

I can't believe Kameron is 7 already! It feels like just yesterday he was coming to visit Trev & I for the first time. He was such an amazing little baby. That boy made his daddy grow up real fast, but in an instant he had his daddy wrapped around those baby fingers!

Kam is a outside boy through and through. He loves tools, dirt, his dogs, hunting & haulin cows with his grandpa Mark in Malad. He is spoiled, but what oldest child isn't right!? 

He loves his baby brothers & is so helpful, well usually, when I need a distraction! 

He is smart & strong willed! 

We love him so much & can't imagine life without him!