• Everything Happens For A Reason •

Welcome to the first of my 30 posts of July! I had the opportunity to connect with lots of other bloggers, one specific who set the group up, and I'm so excited to get back on the blog train! I've missed it. 

So I'd like to give an introduction first, I've had a lot of new followers on my Facebook page! My name is Kylie Mecham. I'm married to the love of my life, he gives me so much love! I also am a mama & step mama to 4 little boys! My youngest was born with a rare genetic disorder that caused him to be born with diabetes, it's now gone but will be back later in life. He spent 73 days in SLC, UT at Primary Children's Hospital. It was the hardest trial I've been through as a mom since becoming one 5.5 years ago. I love blogging. I love fitness. I have found it makes me focus on my life a little better. I can take out my stress on fitness & I love writing about real & raw things. It makes me feel like I'm connecting with people! 

It's funny how your life changes once you become a mom. In high school I thought life was hard, it was the easiest 4 years of my life. I thought I would never become the crazy girl, or the one who couldn't lose the baby weight. I became both. I started out with just a small bout of PPD after having my first baby, but with each one it got worse. I didn't realize, and neither did anyone else, that I was having problems until a couple months after my second baby. My mood swings were uncontrollable, my relationships with my husband, kids, & others was deteriorating & I was heartbroken. I didn't know what to do or how to fix it. I finally went to the doctor & the medicine really helped. And then Peyt came along, long story short, easy pregnancy, no problems & then my repeat c-section brought a tiny 3 lb 15 oz baby boy in my life. & he was sick. Very sick. & I was right back into that PPD except this time being in a major hospital & having the monitors constantly going off I developed some PTSD to go along with it. I was a mess. We brought him home like I said after 73 days & at times I had no idea what I was doing. I just continued to spiral downhill & it was awful. I started working out after Peyt turned one & it's been my saving grace since. I have such better days when I get that fast 30 minute workout in! It's true when they say you get much happier from exercising. 

I can't help wonder what my life would have been like had I not been a hormonal wife or mom. Would my boys have a normal, happy childhood? When they get older, will they remember that year they're mom went bat shit crazy? It's a huge blessing that had family & a husband who believed & loved me enough to stick with me. Everything happens for a reason. I firmly believe you are given trials to lead you to your next road in life, good or bad. You just need to live your life according to YOU! No worrying about what everyone else thinks. 

I hope to really get this blog going with this fun challenge! I have so many ideas & so much to say... 

STAY TUNED!

• Facing Life Guidelines •

First, thank you for your interest in this series. I have never done a series like this but I have also never had a trying year until 2014. I vowed to be an advocate for postpartum depression, PTSD, & special needs babies. Please read my introductory post 

Facing Life: Meeting My "Diabetic" Baby

Here are the guidelines I'd like you to follow. Any questions I can be contacted at my email below or if your FB friends, message me! 

1) If you incorporate your faith into your piece, try to make it general. Many of the readers will be of different faiths, please be sensitive to that. 

2) Length can be a tricky one. I want you to be comfortable enough to share all of your stories and thoughts, but the more to the point you are the better. The goal is to keep the readers interested. 

3) Please email your piece to mecham.ky@gmail.com, along with a recent family photo. If you don't have extras to add, it's ok. If you do have some & know where you want them place,do so & I will post it like that. 

4) I have chosen Facing Life as the series title. Please title your email Facing Life: (your triumph/struggle) ex: Facing Life: Meeting My "Diabetic" Baby. 

5) I would like the last paragraph to be something you've learned along the way of your struggle. Whether it be something about yourself or a way you've learned to cope. 

6) And lastly I would like for you to include all social media links & a small 5-7 sentence bio with a recent family photo! 

This is not a paying job. It is strictly to be personal, raw & real. I want others to know they are not alone. I love reading posts that I can relate to & feeling the emotions they go through. We are a lot stronger than we know. It takes people that know how we feel to lift us up. 

**Update** I've had a lot of people ask if it needs to be new or a previously written post. I need new pieces. If it's previously read, it's not going to reach as many people. 

• Hard Pill To Swallow •

This has been something that I have thought about writing for a long time.

It's not uncommon, but it's a judged subject.

PTSD from having a baby in the NICU is getting more and more common. Anxiety is also a result from a stay.

I remember so vividly everything that happened from February 8- April 22. I am an emotional person. I cry, I scream & I get upset very easily. While Peyton was in Primary's I only cried twice. I never left him & cried & it was questioned a lot.

I can't tell you why I never cried & I will probably never know.

Peyton has been insulin free for 2.5 months. The last 2 months has been constant worry & high anxiety that his diabetes will come back sooner than expected. At his 4 month checkup I worried his sugars would spike from his fever. Of course it hasn't & hopefully it doesn't until 14ish.

At night sometimes I wake up in a panic from dreams that take me back to the morning of Peyton's birth when Trev comes in to tell me that he's only 3 lbs 15 oz. People would say that might be normal & it's ok. It's not ok when your mind throws a curve ball & you also hear him saying they don't expect him to make it through the night...

I panic, wake up in a sweat & have to get up in the middle of the night to check on him & remember that he's ok.

I hear the monitors all the time & my heart rate palpitates when I flashback to the night that his numbers kept rising & we couldn't figure out what was wrong. He stopped breathing twice & I so clearly remember his nurse calling me to tell me his sugars were higher & oxygen had to go on. When we came home with him, he was still gasping when he would go into a deep sleep. I think that's where some of the anxiety roots from.

I recently went to my doctor, who is also a member of my ward bishopric & a very close family friend, to discuss what I was experiencing. I had post partum depression with Carter & Wyatt as well. I fully expected it & My family knew what to watch for after Peyton. Little did I, or anyone else, know how bad it would get.

No I'm not so depressed that I'm buried in the corner afraid of the public eyes, but I do have a hard time being around a lot of people & loudness. I know some of that is because Peyton is still not used to loud noises. His tiny ears lived in the quietness of the NICU for 73 days. When he cries, I get anxious when I can't console him right away. My husband has been such a lifesaver for me. He knows exactly what to watch for when I'm getting overwhelmed. He jumps in & helps in any way possible.

We decided I needed some Xanax for those touchy moments.

Sometimes I feel like it's the worst thing ever that I can't take care of my own kids.... but then I also remember

God gives you what you can handle & when you see your way to him the blessings fall on you & your family.




I'm a work in progress & I'm proud to say that I have come to terms with myself & my head. I know I have some hard work to do, but I have so much help & support.

I have to take care of myself before I can take care of these sweethearts.