Thursday, August 23, 2012

::1 Year August 22, 2012::

I have been writing...rewriting..erasing... and crying... all over a blog post.

A blog post about the most amazing woman in this world.

She was always someone you could talk to about good or bad things. She always had advice & she was there in a heartbeat.

I don't ever remember a time that my Grandparents didn't support me. They were at dance competitions, my graduation, my wedding, when Carter was born.... & I know she took care of Wyatt before he came to us.

My Grandma was one of the strongest people I know. She took on a lot in her life. She kept our family together & happy.

Cancer ruined her life. It drained her. It hurt her. We cried over it so many times as a family. Watching her suffer when we lived in Utah was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I am so thankful for the job oppurtunity to move down there to spend almost a year with her. I would never take a second I spent with her back.

Sometimes I wish I could just pick up my phone to tell her what happened that day or the funny things Carter says.

I would talk to her about twice a week, even in high school I made time to call her or I made sure to run to the phone when Mom said Grandma was supposed to be calling. I loved talking to her & loved listening to her.

She was a kind, thoughtful, helpful, loving, amazing woman. There were some times when she was sick & hurting that she would still take on other people's problems. She was our peacemaker.

I can't even imagine the pain & hurt my Grandpa's heart is feeling every day. To go from living with his most prized possession to sending her to Heaven has got to be the hardest thing. He loves her. End Of Story. They were amazing together. Always helping each other in every way possible, down to the very last moments with his sweetheart.

I haven't cried much over Grandma leaving this Earth because in reality she is here with us...every day...everywhere we are she is watching, waiting to see if we need her help. She is here to make me feel calm when I am stressed because only she & God know when I am about to reach the edge. She will never be gone. I try to talk to her every day. Whether its out loud or just writing things down. She knows. She knows when I need her.

She has always been someone I have looked up to in EVERY SINGLE WAY. My words cannot even express how amazing this woman seriously was. I lucked out so much with the family I was blessed to have & she made it possible. She taught my mom how to be a mom & my mom taught me how to be a mom & now I am sitting here watching my babies sleep and crying my eyes out...I realize how truly blessed I am to have my Grandma in my heart & constantly watching over us.

I love you Grandma! Can't wait to see you again.                                                                            

♥ ky


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